Satire

Paige Fanneron, News Editor

Guidance counselor : So Joey, do you know why I called you into my office today. 

Student: Uh, no. 

Guidance counselor: It’s because you haven’t turned in any of your assignments since October. You are failing all of your classes, what have you been doing instead of your homework!? 

Student: Well….

Instead of writing my english essay, I decided to spend my time dying my hair bright orange. I mean, my friends said it would look good, and I had writer’s block, so I thought that this would be a good way to find inspiration.

During math class, we were taking a quiz; however, I didn’t know the answers, so I decided to learn the Michael Jackson Thriller dance. You never know when you will be in the middle of Times Square and all of a sudden everyone just starts to do the dance. I’m not going to be the one who doesn’t know it. That will certainly help me more in life than knowing the pythagorean theorem!

Art By: M. Shaprio

During science we were listening to a lecture. I needed somewhere cozy in order to do my schoolwork. So I built a fort out of pillows, to make sure I was in the best learning environment.

During history we were working on our projects. Unfortunately, you never know when you will suddenly be thrown into the ocean. It could happen at any moment, so I decided to spend that time seeing how long I could hold my breath. I was just looking out for my future safety, you know.

Today I skipped my A.P. class because my laptop was on the other side of my room and I was pretending that my floor was lava. You never know when a volcano is going to erupt and I don’t know how to get around without touching the floor.

I was going to put a conclusion here, but I procrastinated that too 🙂

Design By: Isaac Weber